- The first example of sensory details is when she described what she saw boys wear such as sneakers, pants, and t-shirts. The second example would be when she described what she saw girls wear such as skirts, heels, dresses, and make up. The last example I would say is when she describes how her loving father has now become a man who brings fear to her whenever she sees or hears him enter their home.
- Awa described the time she was little and how she felt at the time when it came to both her father and her mother. Another example would be when she tells us how middle school had started and felt that her parents have suddenly switched personalities.
- Throughout the text there were no connections to any of the texts, so I would say try and find any time in the text that you feel you may have related to and make that connection within the narrative.
- Three things that worked well were the times she went into detail explaining what feelings her parents gave her. She goes in depth throughout the narrative to explain the challenges she had growing up. Lastly I feel that her structure throughout her narrative was working well as she started from when she was a young little girl to the days she was in middle school and continuing to tell us something new as she grows older.
- I would say she needs to expand more on her story to really give us that telling of how her parents’ culture impacted her throughout her daily life. Also expand on the meaning behind the story you are trying to give us and try to incorporate it within your narrative. Another thing I think should be expanded on is to go into more depth on what things from your parents made you feel that way.
- No other comments.
